Friday, June 17, 2005

The Out-Of-Whack Thinker gets a Whack

Got into a fight last night with someone at work. This person I consider something in between an acquaintance and a friend (but more toward the acquaintance side).

I helped this person find an apartment when they moved to town.

I helped this person find a job (where I work).

I took this person to their interview.

I took this person to a second interview (wow, big deal... oh yeah? It's an hour round trip).

I took this person to take their drug test after their job offer.

I (on a daily basis) take this person to work 5 nights a week.

I (on a daily basis) have to leave earlier than I normally would need to because of this person.

I (on a daily basis) have to wake up earlier than I normally would need to because of this person.

I sometimes have to forego a pre-work shower if I -can't- get up early enough because of this person.

I get home later than I normally would because of this person.

Because of that, sometimes I don't get to see my wife in the morning because of this person.

When my wife has to use the "second" vehicle when I'm late home, it causes slight rifts in my marriage because of this person.

I help this person move into their new house.

On a daily basis, I attempt to give this person hints and tips for either working smarter, running equipment, etc.

So one day (two months ago) I buy a bike. I am spending almost $300 in gas a week in my Vue. The bike gets 75mpg. With the bike, I'll spend less than half what I already am. So I encourage this person to get a drivers license (27 years old, still living with mom, etc, etc). My idea is that this person can by MY ride when the weather is too crappy for the bike.

I go to the DMV and pick up a Drivers Handbook for this person.

I drop the Drivers Handbook off in this persons mailbox.

We have discussed many many times the fact that it is much more economical to ride the bike than to drive, and that this person -needs- to get a license, even prior to dropping off the handbook.

Three and a half weeks pass since dropping off the handbook (two months have passed since purchasing the bike). I am almost out of patience. It seems as if this person really doesn't want anything in life, or have any goals. I ask if he's ready to take the driving test yet.

"Not yet. I've been looking through the book, though."

"When will you be ready? You realize you are on your second week of a grace period from my last deadline..."

"Well you haven't taught me how to drive a stick. That was part of the deal of me getting a license."

"Oh, so now it's MY fault you don't have a license?"

"Yeah, kinda"

"Why the fuck do you need to learn to drive a stick? You don't even own a car! Your mothers car is automatic! That is like saying that you won't leave college until obtaining three degrees... It's ridiculous, unneccesary, and a waste of time. And did you seriously think you'd be learning stick in one of my vehicles WITHOUT a drivers permit??? So when will you be getting your permit? You realize my patience is not infinite. Maybe you should just start finding your own ride!"

So for the next six hours I stew. By the time the end of the shift comes, I'm so pissed I can't even look at the person sitting next to me in my car as I drive this person home (and barely make it in time to see my wife).

As we pull up to his house, he opens the door.

"So are we still on for tonight?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Picking me up for work."

"I don't know. You really pissed me off last night with your comment about this entire situation being my fault"

"Yeah, I know. That's why I didn't say anything the whole time."

"You know, you have no idea how many things I do for you because you are part of my day. And to hear the attitude you have towards the things I do for you really makes me want to cut you out of my day completely. I'm a nice guy, I do things for people. But when your attitude turns my help into unappreciated charity, that is where I draw the line. I don't do charity. I don't necessarily want a 'thank you' for each and every thing, but I would expect some appreciation in your tone. You should be ashamed that you can't muster a single thread of self-sacrifice for someone and do something on your own, regardless of whether you want to, or if it's convenient or not. Do you realize it wasn't necessarily convenient for my to help you move? I work and 8 hour shift, getting my ass kicked all night. I had service scheduled for my bike in 4 hours, which is the amount of time it took me to drive to do my errands and get to the dealer. I then wait for 3 hours while it's serviced, then drive back home for another 2 hours. Then I come over to help you move. You think I wanted to be there? That's what self-sacrifice is. And you can't even bother your mother to give you a ride to get your written test taken, use her car for the driving portion, or even bother her to bring you and pick you up from work??? You'll impose on me all day long, but won't even ASK your own mother? She's SUPPOSED to do shit like that for you."

"OK. I'll be here ready if you decide to come pick me up. Do you think you will?"

"I don't know. Can't you get a ride from your mother?"

"No. I'm not even going to ask."

"Are you serious? You are willing to just toss all the shit I've helped you attain because you don't want to ask your mother? Alright. I guess we'll find out tonight."

"K. Bye"

I think I'm going to ride my bike to work tonight. I might even take a long lunch to enjoy Wichita @ night.

Do you think I give a shit what happens to someone who doesn't appreciate what they have? Or care enough about something to go get it?

I guess we'll find out tonight.

I'm going to bed. And I'm going to wake up at the time I -used- to.

I hope you find something in life worth working for, Willy.